Published Monday, 28 April 2014
Irishman Michael O'Leary is CEO of Ryanair. (© Getty)
According to James Lockley, the airline certainly didn't fail to provide him with an experience, but it wasn't exactly a positive one.
"You treated us badly, you cost us money and made us miss our wedding reception through a display of incompetence I have not seen since Greece was allowed to have money and a cheque book," he summarised, towards the end of a lengthy diatribe.
His letter to Ryanair's customer experience team outlined how he and his wife found themselves pushed for time in getting to Stansted airport.
"We went straight to the Ryanair assistant and explained our plight," James noted.
"She said we were still within the time and all would be fine, but we had to make the attendant at check-in aware and he would assist from there.
"We approached the attendant as instructed and explained. Unfortunately, in the main part due to him being a child and forgetting to bring his mother to work, he heard only half of the words before his brain fell apart like a wet cake."
Things went from bad to worse for the couple, having been told they had missed their flight and been sent to the "Customer Shouting Desk".
Out came a man so angry all his hair had literally fallen out. He was so aggressive I can only assume he had accidentally inserted something sharp into somewhere private and been unable to remove it before he came to work.
James claims the only answer available from the manager they were told to speak to was: "Check in opens three hours before the flight.
That remained the response, he joked, to questions ranging from "Do you acknowledge that we have just cause for complaint?" to "What colour are my trousers?" and "Were Man Utd right to fire David Moyes?"
The couple persisted though and it appeared there may be hope after all, after another member of staff informed them that the flight had in fact been delayed by an hour and had not taken off.
But, despite having been told to run to the gate and that their bags would be checked into the hold, there was another sting in the tale.
"Security advised us that, because our flight should have left, even though it hadn't, the ticket machine would not open the barrier for us and we would need to return to the Customer Shouting Desk," James lamented.
All in all, he estimated that the experience had cost him £220 for new flights, £79 for a hotel, £50 for taxis to and from the airport and £35 for "the world's most expensive sandwich in the only hotel we could get" - all plus stress, inconvenience and missing a big family occasion.
He says he's not expecting a reply from the airline, but judging by the online responses, he has at least given a lot of people a giggle at his own expense.
© UTV News