Published Wednesday, 16 July 2014
Typically, she doesn't have the remnants of Weetabix and juice randomly splattered across her clothes like a terrible abstract painting that people secretly snigger at. She brushes her hair (and often wears makeup), she converses with adults in a calm manner and well, she's pretty 'normal'. Then there's the other Sonia and believe me, she's an entirely different kettle of fish. She's a bit of a head the ball! Rather than throwing random adjectives your way, let me elaborate...
I recently made a very serious error of judgment while attempting to placate my four-year-old son, Liam. The other 'me' made a conscious decision to morph into a big scary monster (well, he was yelling about a toy or something and I thought it would make him laugh). So the monster was born. You know the 'Scooby Doo' type? The kind that runs frantically around making deep growling noises while reaching out with big straggly arms. You get the picture. Yes, it is absolutely ridiculous but this monster succeeded in delighting him to the extent he let out high pitched squeals of delight, which probably deafened every dog in our street. There's such a deep sense of satisfaction in making your child that happy!
Of course, this satisfaction was relatively short lived. Most of my week, yes you've guessed, has been spent impersonating the big scary monster. Each morning, before I've had the chance to even take a sip from my tea or a bite of toast, I'm 'on the job' so to speak. From the moment my eyes open, my little bundle of love is demanding the monster. The first few days, I obliged. Any annoyance far outweighed by his obvious pleasure in seeing his mother transform into a sub human creature.
Six days later, I seriously think he's having a laugh. He wants to see the monster at the supermarket, the doctors, the swimming pool and the football pitch. If it's a public place and people will be watching, he asks to see the monster! So it's fair to say that most of Belfast has recently been introduced to my alter ego, in full flow no less.
This all culminated at Mo Molam children's park at Stormont on Sunday. It's a magnificent place but clearly the swings and other climbing frames simply weren't entertainment enough. It wasn't long before a formal request to see the monster was made. Sane Sonia was transformed yet again. Curiously, a sort of reverse Pied Piper effect occurred, which was rather surreal. Suddenly other children joined in. Not only was I chasing my own son about like an extra from Michael Jackson's 'Thriller' but I was growling and roaring at an entire army of little boys. I'm surprised somebody didn't ring for help. This was all very much to the amusement of the other parents, who no doubt harbour an alter ego of their own. It just doesn't usually make a public appearance!
The evening ends on a deliriously brighter albeit browner note. My daughter has (mostly) got the hang of doing her number two's in the toilet! WHOO-HOOOO - WE ARE GETTING THERE!
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