Published Friday, 22 August 2014
They probably pick up on my anxiety and fear that they're going to disturb the readers and sure enough that's exactly what they go ahead and do. But I was fairly sure I was safe enough to put them both in the double buggy and just head to the express Tesco at the bottom of the street.
It was one of those persistent rainy days and the thought of getting into the car and being stuck in traffic was more depressing than just stepping out into air and getting wet on a wee walk down to the shops. Have you ever noticed that sometimes when it's all kicking off in the house/any other place - by just merely stepping outside - it changes the mood and they go quiet almost instantly. What magic potion does the air outside hold? I'd consider removing the roof off my house if we lived in a warmer climate.
Anyway off we headed, only bread and milk were required so I figured 3 minutes tops in the actual shop. All was fairly normal on the short walk there. No sign of anything untoward as we approached the shop either but little did I know what secret they were keeping so well.
As soon as we entered it immediately became very clear; I'd had forgotten to strap them into the pram... AHHHHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOoooooooo STOP! They both escaped within seconds of entering and then they were off - running round the aisles in different directions and not a chance of lending an ear to my pathetic pleas of come back now or ... you'll lose all your stars, you won't get your treat.. Santa will honestly put you on his black list forever. Whilst I was shouting at them they were skillfully dodging many innocent and unassuming customers who looked at me (quite rightly) like I had no control over my children.
Threats eventually worked for the elder but not on Kate who thought the longer she managed to escape my clutches the more hilarious it was. She kept on running, speed increasing and every time I went after her she ran the other way. No-one will interfere or help anymore less they be accused of some sort of child molestation so you're on your own. You're on your own all the way. I managed to catch her eventually and hold her down while she screamed at the top of her voice for what seemed like an eternity and caused me to look like I was using far too much force on a 2 year old to strap her in. She'd got herself into such an angry state that she could have given Big Daddy a run for his money in the strength department. And then click, mission almost impossible became complete.
Breathing huge sighs of relief I managed to restore calm and order to the situation, for a few moments anyway. I felt triumphant that no members of staff or customers were either injured or ever worse hopsitalised in the furore.
Lesson learnt; never go out again without doing a proper check on all operational matters.
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