Published Friday, 13 April 2012
But I was prepared to give these X Factor finalists a chance particularly since the girls loved the tunes (and, I suspect, the boys themselves).Great seats, near the front and at the end of an aisle - so far so good. After a few support acts it was time for the boys themselves.
They came down suspended from on high wearing a kind of angel/gladiator outfit. Marvin, Oritse, JB and wee Aston all had the outfits customised so as not to completely match, but to leave no doubt that they were all members of the same band.
Now. The screaming would have deafened you. I am not joking. They worked their way through the hits, some more suitable for an older audience ("I wanna love in 3d, I'm gonna turn you on just like a tv"?!).
Still, I thought, it's way above the girl's heads, they're not exactly Rihanna or Lady Gaga so we'll not panic too much.
The girls had a ball, singing dancing and screaming and generally enjoying themselves. I must admit that I was dancing and singing along too, copying the actions and thus putting myself in "cool mum" mode.
As a show it was well worth watching, JLS were very entertaining and a lot of money had obviously been spent on the stage show.
But it was marred slightly when one of the band (I think maybe Marvin?) told the audience they looked very sexy. Now to my daughter, sexy is a bad word - not because I've told her it is, but because she's aware that it's always said in an adult context. Her jaw hung open in shock, and she turned round with her big eyes as if to say "Did you HEAR that?".
I did, and I'd have told the band off if they could have heard me above the screaming. I'd say the average age of the audience at the Odyssey - which was packed - was about 10/11.
Tell your fans they are lovely, JLS, tell them they look great, that their shoes are cool. Don't flippin tell them they're sexy!
I know I sound like Mary Whitehouse, but in my heart I'm Kylie. With an eight year old daughter.
That's why I would rather you leave the big boy chat for a few years - at least until your fans catch up with you.