The man who 'discovered U2', producer Steve Lillywhite, has recorded a video message, asking if he can replace Simon Cowell on the US talent show American Idol.
Steve Lillywhite sounds desperate. Despite having recorded U2's War and Morrissey's Vauxhall and I, the British producer has issued a video pleading for just one thing: to replace Simon Cowell as a judge on American Idol.
"It's not a joke," Lillywhite assured the LA Times. "It's born out of the reality of the world at the moment."
Cowell, American Idol's most notorious judge, will soon leave the hit TV series to launch the US version of The X Factor. Proposed replacements for Cowell include Madonna and industry mogul Tommy Mottola, but Lillywhite wants to be considered – even if he doesn't "have a chance in hell".
"Hi! I'm a well-known record producer," Lillywhite explains in a YouTube video. "I have a great accent ... and I have great credibility."
With a manic glint in his eye, Lillywhite boasts of having "discovered U2" and "spent 30 years telling Bono what to do". "Ninety-nine per cent [music] is rubbish," he declares, before name-dropping personal triumphs like Evanescence and 30 Seconds to Mars.
Lillywhite later said that the video wasn't meant for mass consumption.
"[It] was cut and sent [to American Idol's producers], then somebody put it up [online]". While he admits "I'm not Simon Cowell", Lilywhite suggests his experience would help the show expand in new directions. "I'd like to make [Idol] a bit more interesting," he said.
"I don't base my opinion on whether someone can sing in tune or not. And there's the question of could you find the next Bob Dylan or Neil Young on American Idol? It's a weak point in the show, and if there was anyone with those sorts of talents, I would be able to recognise it."
Then again, songwriting has never been the focus of American Idol. Audiences seem more interested in the next Cheryl Cole than in a future Ron Sexsmith – and the show reflects this.
Confronted, Lillywhite is quick to backpedal. "When people say to me, 'Steve, what's the first thing that attracts you to a project?' It's not the songs. For me, it's the voice ... Of course, along with that voice, there's a whole load of other things to check off. But ask anyone, it's always the voice for me."
The first thing Lillywhite may wish to work on is his attitude. It's too pleasant, even sycophantic, whereas Cowell's sharp tongue is as famous as his ear. Judging from Lillywhite's Twitter feed, the record producer is not exactly tough. After referring to past clients the Dave Matthews Band, saying they "fired" him, he quickly put on his kid gloves.
"I bear no malice to DMB," he wrote, with another apology 30 minutes later: "I would love to work with DMB again! They are still one of the greatest bands around." At least he isn't auditioning to take over The Weakest Link.
© Guardian