Published Tuesday, 25 March 2014
Adam Rickett speaks to This Morning. (© Rex Features)
Best known for playing Nick Tilsley in the soap and more recently appearing in the ITV2 series The Big Reunion, Adam has opened up about his battle with food that started when he was at a boarding school as a teenager.
He explained: "I was at one of these all boys schools where the rugby players where the gods, so from the age of 13 all I wanted to be was a rugby player and there were all these ancestral pressures to be the golden boy at school.
"During a rugby match I dislocated both my shoulders and while I was in hospital I picked up a virus which made me lose weight and it meant that I couldn't play rugby again.
"I blamed this rugby situation for making me bulimic but it was nothing to do with that, it was a deep rooted thing whereby I didn't know myself, I didn't fit in.
"Because I had lost so much weight due to the virus I had to eat a lot to get my weight back up. One day I was sitting there and I had a huge bowl of (cereal) and I was so focused on the eating. When I stood up, I had eaten so much, I was physically sick.
"I thought I have just wasted an hour and a half - I didn't have to think for an hour and a half and for me that was salvation.
"To have a release and to have something to focus on was amazing. So I did it again."
I would go to bed each night praying not to wake up.
Adam would continue to deal with the disease throughout his teens and he was aware the signs and symptoms of the disorder were there for his family and friends to see.
"My weight plummeted, I was down to six or seven stone and I looked horrific," he said.
"Eating disorders are exactly the same as any other mental health issue. It's where you focus your problems on one subject.
"The worse thing was I knew everybody knew. I looked different, I was acting different and it was all because I wanted to go and binge and purge.
Adam says he has now overcome his issues, but admitted it is something that he will always have to deal with.
"I got over the physical side of being sick within 18 months, the mental side, I describe as being like a Pandora's box...it's never completely shut. It took me until I was 30 to be able to look at myself in the mirror and know who I was."
© UTV News