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It all happens when the Bartons throw a bonfire night party (Remember, remember the 5th of November, and all that!)

To tell you the truth, with Emmerdale's history, it's a wonder the local authorities allow bonfires in the village at all!

However it is the Bartons first big party, and naturally, in Soapland, if there is going to be a bonfire, you just know that somebody is going to get burned!

And whadaya know? Doesn't an ember land on Laurel's coat, and the huge flames are soon shooting up her back!

It is here that we see Sally looking on maliciously, however when Marlon gives a warning yell, she suddenly leaps into action, throwing her coat over Laurel, and rolls over her!

Marlon chucks water over both of them, and Ashley then takes a very shaken Laurel into the house.

Having not noticed Sally's malicious, hateful stare, Laurel is most grateful to her for saving her life!

Naturally, Sally is fit-to-be-tied at Laurel getting all the attention, but she really basks in all the praise when her life-saving efforts are mentioned, and hams up a hand injury to get some sympathy.

Of course, at this stage we are all ready to get Ashley and Laurel by the scruff of their necks, and bang their heads together, for not seeing right through the smarmy, all sweet and reasonable bunny boiling Sally!

For we can all see the softly spoken devil is now getting closer to the edge, especially, when after the bonfire incident, she attempts to sabotage the Thomases wedding anniversary!
She spikes Laurel's pre-dinner drinks, so that the woman is "half-tore" by the time she gets to the restaurant!

Sally then sends dopey Doug off to the pub, and then wakes up wee Gabby, so that, when Ashley returns with his totally plastered wife, he is greeted by the touching sight of his lodger tenderly reading his daughter a lovely wee story.

So while Laurel is lying out for the count on the bed, Sally and Ashley sit down for a nice, cosy wee chat about the old days. The type of late nights that Sally would love to get used to!

When will Ashley and Laurel wake up, and smell the coffee?

Meanwhile Leyla is still in turmoil after her night of playing horses with the bold Nathan! As we all know she is now being blackmailed by him into taking full responsibility for his drink-driving accident!

Now despite handing in her notice at the shop, telling Nathan to stop threatening her, and giving him a darn good dig in the bake' the wee gett refuses to back down, and warns her that he could ruin her life!!!

So all this really takes the cherry off the top of her bun in the Woolpack, when, in full view of everyone, David gets down on one knee and proposes!

It's really embarrassing when she turns him down and later, when David gets an eyeful of Leyla and Nathan chatting, it makes him realise that something may be going on between them!

So when he talks to Pollard about his fears, Leyla empties her whole stomach to Doug, telling him the whole sordid story!

But, very, very soon David is going to realise there are three people in the relationship!

Meanwhile....

Have the boke buckets ready as I tip you the wink about the very latest from Weatherfield, where a certain debt-ridden, painkiller-addicted head banger with a history of depression and an explosive temper is in for a nice surprise!

Indeed he is quite touched when his partner, E-T in an Anthea Turner wig, announces that she is going to help him with the renovation of the crate of junk outside the front door that Joe calls "his boat"!

And he is further touched after he is made redundant, from the hardware shop, when Gail tells him not to worry- she'll support him until he finds more work!

So! Wanting to show her how he feels, Joe surprises her with a surprise meal on the boat, now named "Gail Force"! Naturally we all assume this is a tribute to her ability to withstand the repeated knocks that life has dealt her, and not a reference to any problems regarding severe flatulence in the lower sections of her alimentary canal!

Anyhow, during the onboard romantic meal, Joe gets down on one knee and asks her to marry him to her!

(Sorry! I had to break off there, to go and bring up my whole dinner in UTV's washroom!)

Naturally she accepts his proposal with both hands, like a woman in barrel about to crash over Niagara Falls!

Well! I suppose she DOES love him! Time has obviously formed a scab over the fairly recent memory of him going on a drug withdrawal rampage, during which he broke into, and smashed up the local medical centre!

You see, E-T in the Anthea Turner wig thinks that Joe is basically a good man, and she hopes that will rub off on nasty wee gett David!

And indeed, when BOTH the nasty wee gett and Audrey find out the "good news" I think it fairly safe to say that we'd better all fasten our seat belts! It's going to be a bumpy few weeks!

Meanwhile, poor Roy Cropper is all of a doo-dah after having heard Tony make what seemed a deathbed confession to Liam's murder! Should he report what he has been told to the peelers??

His first confident is, of course, Hayley, who, lets face it, never sees bad in anyone! She tells Roy that she reckons Tony was just feeling guilty, because it happened on the stag night he had organised for Liam! She also points out that Tony was awash with hospital drugs when he made his revelation!

However Roy just can't get it out of his head that Tony was telling the truth, and he feels very uncomfortable when he sees a tearful Maria, who has rushed back from Cyprus.

So he confides again in Hayley, who tells him, in no uncertain terms, that people will only think he's stark raving bonkers if he starts making accusations!

Nevertheless Roy CAN'T let the matter lie, and he decides to speak to the police. Hayley does her best to dissuade him. But he picks up the phone and then puts it down again!

He reluctantly agrees to put aside his suspicions for the time being!

But what will he feel if Tony makes a full recovery?

And will our Roy be in deadly danger?

Now, hold on to your hollyhocks, BECAUSE, hunky chunky builder Jake has fallen, head over heels, for Michelle, and wants to whisk her off in his knackered old van and take her with him to Penrith, near the Lake District, where his next job is!

As we have all gathered, because we can tell by lookin', Michelle fancies the knickers off him! BUT even though she would love to fling her legs to the moon in Penrith, she would have preferred somewhere slightly more exotic!

So Jake says farewell to Weatherfield, and heads off into the sunset alone!

Have we seen the last of Jake?

I don't think so!

© UTV News