Subscribe to the blog feed Blogs

If a red-hot poker had been rammed where the sun don't shine as soon as smarmy, sleeked, psycho, Sally appeared on the scene in Emmerdale, that would have been it all sorted.

You see (like I'm sure all of you did) I twigged on from the moment Laurel and ould Edna got locked in the church last week, that dark forces were at work.

And then when ould Edna's wee Tootsie disappeared into thin air - before getting flung out of a car onto the side of the road in a zipped up bag - everything pointed to one smarmy, sleeked, psychotic female!

Yes indeed, this week, Sally is back, minus the façade of simpering, sweet reasonableness.

Unbeknown to the villagers, she is creeping about the place, destroying snapshots of the Thomas family, just to show how much she hates them.

Sally is, of course, the person behind all those mysterious events that came to pass last week, and she is still meddling.

She steals Sandy's keys, leaves the gas on at Mulberry, and lurks, like a phantom in the shadows, spying on loved-up Ashley and Laurel.

But! Clearly, Sally wants to make herself known as she lobs a brick at Diane's car and then lets herself into Mulberry, and bizarrely re-arranges the fridge magnets!

Then baby Angelica goes missing, and naturally Nicola nearly does her nut! However, a little later Gennie finds the wee soul in her buggy near the graveyard, alive and well.

Later Sally heads to the church, where she sets fire to a stolen photo of Ashley, and starts ringing the bells.

When Laurel and Ashley run over, Sally hears them talking about Laurel going away for the night.
So, the next day, the sleeked psycho lurks in the shadows watching as Laurel and Sandy leave for Devon and then she turns up at Mulberry and begs Ashley to let her in.

Oh! Where is that red-hot poker?

Stupid, soft-hearted Ashley lets her in!

So, Sally is now all set for the final, ghastly twist in her plan.

Remember, this female is now totally irrational about everything and people should be really scared of her.

Her hatred knows no bounds!

I am not going to reveal the final horror of it all but my red-hot poker is going to be under my bed, within easy reach, for quite a few weeks to come.

Meanwhile, as we all know, the Dingles are no strangers to being in the slammer, but dear love Lisa, for she is the very last one you'd expect to be behind bars.

She's in total shock when a judge sentences her to two months behind bars.

Zak is absolutely devastated, and takes his anger and frustration out on Shadrach, whose thieving ways (let's face it!) have actually put poor Lisa in this position in the first place.

The dirty ould hallion is ordered to pack his bags and leave, while Zak faces the ordeal of telling Belle what's happened to her Mum.

The little girl is distraught at the news and is so anxious to see her Mum that she skips school with Will and heads off to the prison.

Needless to say, they don't even get past the gates and Zak, and Maisie (boke buckets will be on standby for her!) are called in to come and pick the two kids up.

The only Dingle to benefit from the sentence is Cain, for he is dragged up the stairs for a steamy game of horses with Charity, who has decided, after hearing the news, that she will live for the moment!

Wee Belle is really upset when Zak gets his prison visiting order and it doesn't include her. However, when Zak visits Lisa and lets her know how the little girl feels, Lisa agrees to let her come to the jail.

Understandably, Lisa does not want wee Belle to see her in the slammer as she thinks it's no place for a child.

But, as we all know, wee Belle is no stranger to this and is actually one of the best Dingles at coping when the chips are down.

Over at Mill Cottage, you can practically cut the tension with a knife after Nicola feeds little Anya spaghetti Bolognese knowing that she is vegetarian.

Carl absolutely does his nut, accusing Nicola of tricking Anya into eating meat.

However they are stopped in their tracks when Chas turns up with a homeless Shadrach.

Can they possibly cope with a dirty ould hallion in the house on top of everything else? I don't think so!

Meanwhile, over in Weatherfield...

Well, what can I say? Molly is eating for two!

Well! When you've been here, there, and everywhere, flinging your legs to the moon in guesthouses and hotels, and having to use pliers to prize your toenails out of headboards in all arts and parts, we've heard it all before.

However the poor, deluded, girl is so sure that Kevin Webster will be ecstatic when she tells him that she she's preggers.

Needless to say the grease monkey flips his lid and sets fire to Molly's baby scan picture! The callous so-and-so then instructs Molly to have a termination.

TERMINATION?! Molly is four months gone and, to give the girl her due, she doesn't even know it until Dev orders her to get a check up at the hospital, after she takes a dizzy spell in the shop.

On hearing the news, poor, deluded Molly really believes that her unborn child will be a whole new beginning for Kevin, and herself.

Sadly for her, Kevin questions whether the baby is even his!

Later, typical man (full of guilt) he apologises to Molly but, when she asks if they could still have a future together, he stresses that he still loves Sally. He adds that if Molly wants to have the baby she will have to move away from Weatherfield!

HALLO!? WHY?

Upset, Molly cries on Tyrone's shoulder.

He chucks the "Pink Peril" Jackie, out on her ear and begs Molly to come back to him.

Then when she tells him her news, the lad is absolutely cock-a-hoop! Of course, in his blissful ignorance Tyrone believes the child to be his.

Seeing his reaction, Molly agrees to give their marriage another chance.

Kevin is stunned when he finds out, telling Molly to stay away from his family!

Who does he think he is? However, Soapland is Soapland - so how long before the truth turns all their lives upside down?

Thankfully (as you will all be delighted to see this week) wee Simon turns up on Peter's doorstep safe and sound. The wee soul explains that he ran away from Blackpool, and made his way back to Weatherfield because he overheard Grandpa George saying that he was planning to take him away from the Street permanently.

Ould Grandpa George then also turns up, saying that he no longer intends to seek custody of wee Simon.

Do we have Eve to thank for this turn around?

So, it's down to Peter to look after him now! But can he be trusted to stay off the bottle?
Gail McIntyre is sent to prison this week, to await trial for Joe's murder!

Of course that's the cherry on top of a week that also sees Joe's funeral (at long last!) but Gail has to beg Tina to let her attend.

In the end Tina relents, but then pent up emotions explode to the surface and Tina erupts!

What should be a solemn ceremony descends into a bar room brawl, with Tina screaming accusations and David coming to blows with Jason.

At the heels of the hunt, Tina decides that she can't face the funeral service but then she turns up, just in time for Gail's eulogy about Joe!

Tina then does a slow handclap, and, in front of the whole mesmerized, and in some cases I'm sure, delighted congregation, accuses Gail of being a liar who covered up her dad's death.

How dear ould Blanche would have loved all this!

However, the whole service descends into a free-for-all brawl, and slanging match.

During the wake in the Rovers, don't the peelers arrive to arrest Gail on suspicion of murder!

It's actually Tina who has called them! She has given them evidence that Gail has been lying about the events surrounding Joe's death.

So Gail is taken to the Police station and formally charged.

She is absolutely terrified and feels totally out of her depth. The horror continues for her when she has to appear in court, where bail is denied and she is sent to prison to await trial!

David is beside himself, but Tina thinks that her step-mum deserves to be banged up. Indeed, Tina's grief is so overwhelming that Jason begins to worry about his fiancee's state of mind.

Now, there is a major breakthrough for medical science!

So! Rather like the time an innocent Deirdre Barlow took the rap for her airline pilot beau (who was actually a chancer, working in "Tie Rack" on the airport concourse) do we start a wee petition to "Free the Weatherfield One"?

I don't think we'll bother!

© UTV News